Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize