Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
