is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.