That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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