i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There r osticjed everywhere
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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