i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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