So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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