My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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