can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
