i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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