you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
FUCK WHALES
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize