So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
