MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
