Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
