started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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