make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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