I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
