I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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