No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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