Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I looked at my own cervix.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
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I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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