My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
