just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
