Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
