Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
