Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish you could order shots online.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think your dad took our porno
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
ok first of all what the fuck
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
