its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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