dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
