New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
