i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My dick has a subreddit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
