sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
