i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
