I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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