btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
