So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
