Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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