i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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