I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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