fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
