Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
