The maid of honor just puked.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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