I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
