she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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