we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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