Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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