PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
