This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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