OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
