ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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