just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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