The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
