NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
