What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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