i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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