Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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