You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
