she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
