Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
