Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
