That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize