i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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