I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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